A Much Needed Closure, 18 months later
I had lunch at OYA today with my former college roommate, Gabrielle
Me: It was difficult witnessing you and Noe fall in love as I was shattering into a million pieces after the break up of a lifetime.
Gabrielle: I am so sincerely sorry Mizuki
M: Please, don’t be. It’s okay. We are better people because of it. In the position you’re in now, you should not be feeling sorry for me.
G: No, it’s not okay.
M: It had to happen. You and I know now.
—
After a few days of trying to get ahold of my former college roommate who was recently broken up with a steady boyfriend, she finally responded to my requests to meet.
(6/10, G via text) My mom is coming to town to take care of me. Noah broke my heart and told me he doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve never felt this dead/depressed before.
(6/10, M via text after careful thinking) Nothing I say will make you feel any better. Your mom is amazing and you will recover sooner than I did last year. I know it’s a painful process.
(6/10, M via text with hopes that she will crawl out of her apartment to socialize) We’re watching the US vs. England soccer game in Dupont, you should come.
—
(6/13, M via text): I’m wondering if we can have lunch tomorrow or if I can stop by the apartment to say a quick hi to you and your mom.
(6/13, G via text): We can have lunch. My mom leaves for Michigan tomorrow morning. Any preference?
—
I met Gabrielle at a tiny table for two. Already seated, she had water filled in our glasses and was hastily typing away on her blackberry.
M: Hi!
G: Hi!
M: I see you have a blackberry
G: My job necessitates me having one. It makes me feel important.
M: As you should.
(We both glance at OYA’s extensive lunch menu)
G: Yesterday was probably the first day that I was able to hold any (food) down
M (looks up): Oh, I know the feeling
G: I feel like such a failure.
M: You’re not.
G: I don’t know how you ever got over him.
M: It took me a long time. I needed to know I couldn’t rely on anyone else but myself before I moved on and dated.
I also went to see a professional.
Who convinced me to go see a professional?
You did.
Thank you for doing that.
I spent a LOT of money.
But I wouldn’t have ever recovered had I not gone to see a therapist. Professionals exist for a reason.
G: I couldn’t breathe. I would just sit at my apartment and cry. It would hurt to look at my walls. I sleep in the same bed he had, the same bedsheets. I am, still, madly in love with him.
Mizuki, you did yourself a favor by disappearing to Tokyo for half a year.
M: You told me that I should be embracing DC, do you remember that? God that was painful. Every visit to Georgetown won’t ever be the same.
My mom wanted me to come home. I flew back to DC in the dead of winter, and the first day of classes wasn’t starting for almost two weeks.
G: I am so sick of DC
M: I am so sick of the people I waited on in DC
G: Noah didn’t even come to my graduation. My parents went to his to introduce themselves. They were introduced, mildly shook hands, then turned away. That is essentially what happened. I haven’t felt more welcomed by the THREE MINUTES I spent with your mom and stepdad than with Noah’s parents. His mom hated me.
M: Why did you stay?
G: I thought he’d say something to his mom. But he never did. I think he’s confused because his mom has such a huge impact on him.
I think he’ll find someone better. I was so demanding.
M: From the beginning, you pushed his buttons.
G: I feel like I ruined the one chance at really securing the love of my life.
M: I think you’ll take a lot longer than I did to recover. Trust, it’s a good thing.
—
And we walked out of OYA after saying “see you laters” to Aaron, Christopher, my hard working all time favorite busser Juanito who only works lunch shifts at OYA and Nancy.